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Ask anyone who’s been in an unhappy, non-communicative marriage.
Eric Klinenberg, the author of “Going Solo,” a book about living alone, looks at the emergence of the one-person household as an increasingly preferred living choice.
If he’s excited about you and wants you to be his girlfriend, he’ll call you the next day to say, “I had fun, when can I take you out to dinner this week? So stop blaming them for sleeping with and texting you.
” If he’s already planning his exit strategy, he’s not going to say, “I think we made a mistake. If you start listening to their silences, you can finally hear the whole truth.
That may be why increasing numbers of older people are turning to online dating sites, which offer a way to connect with others and make new friends, even if they don’t deliver a life partner.
In short, to keep the peace and avoid conflict, you either do the slow fade (not calling him back immediately), or you continue to see him with reservations about your attraction and excitement. Are you fickle and always looking for someone better? This is not me DEFENDING men; this is me, EXPLAINING men. In a society where marriage has been held up as the ideal, they misunderstand how those who’ve never married, or who are widowed or divorced, experience living alone.Loneliness is not tied to relationship status, and it’s a fallacy to assume that marriage or cohabitation is the solution.• Another text a few days later to say he’s thinking of you, but he’s been busy. Hell, he’s not even talking about dinner and a movie! He hasn’t done anything after sleeping with you that indicates that he’s serious about you. And at the end of the day, I know it is me to blame. • A text a week later at 9pm to ask what you’re doing right now. He’s mostly keeping in touch with texts and hoping that you coast on your attraction to him without ever second guessing his lack of effort. So, reward this kind man for trying to protect your feelings by… “It’s been fun knowing you, Dan, but I’m looking for a boyfriend, not a sexting buddy.