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I am an effusive texter, and in past relationships I would get frustrated when my multi-text theses would be answered with “yeah” or “sure.” I needed someone who was just as willing to give themselves carpal tunnel as I was.I’d heard similar complaints from friends: potential dates who texted too much, too little; used too many emojis, didn’t seem to understand emojis at all; were too serious, used to many “lols” when they clearly were not .
MORE: Why Bumble Wants to Beat Tinder at Its Own Game And yet the importance of texting grows with each passing Valentine’s Day.
So texting compatibility can be an important signifier of how communication would work in a long-term relationship.
A 24-year-old friend and medical student living in Chicago, Madeleine Boesche, says texting issues convinced her to break things off with an older man she was seeing.
MORE: Aziz Ansari: Everything You Thought You Knew About Love Is Wrong In all these cases, one person thought the other was violating what they perceived to be best texting practices.
Though not everyone agrees on what those guidelines are, people feel strongly that their view is the right one. Though these rules apply to both genders, outdated mores still tend to guide them.