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Abusive Anger occurs when your partner does not use proper communication techniques.
Instead, your partner throws a very scary tantrum complete with yelling, hitting or breaking things, getting in your face, or any other action that makes you freeze, flee, or fight back.
The abuser blames you for whatever happened when there’s no way you could control it.
Blocking and Diverting is a type of verbal abuse in which the abuser does not let you get your point across usually because the abuser diverts the topic to something else.
Even the silent treatment is a type of verbal abuse!
The main point of every type of verbal abuse is to control the victim through confusion, delusion or fear.
It is different from disagreeing because countering can be so irrational that it is not considered a disagreement.
Deprivation or Withholding is a type of verbal abuse that involves little to no verbal communication.
The abuser pulls away from the victim and won’t speak or touch or even acknowledge the victim (or your needs) exists.
Forgetting, especially forgetting things that are important to you, is another way to covertly tell you that you are unimportant or less than the abuser.
Judging and Criticizing is the type of verbal abuse in which the perpetrator puts you down without trying to hide it.
Changing your reaction to verbal abuse will change your relationship and lead to a stronger sense of self for you.