Funny online dating experiences
Now, in our final installment of this very special dating survey roundup, we bring you: The Most Horrific Things Encountered While Online Dating. We’re including some extremely frank stuff, including about sexual assault.
If you’re not up for reading about that today, you should take a pass.
I explained, nicely, why it bugged me, and he said he was glad he found out early how ugly I was on the inside.• I met a guy for coffee.
As we were sitting outside of the coffee shop enjoying some nice conversation he told me how he was working on writing some music.
On the phone it had come up that he was a Redsox fan — I am a diehard Yankees fan.
But I thought a little rivalry could be fun — I have a lot of Yankee fan friends who have married Redsox fans and they both have a sense of humor about it! My first words on our date were: ‘Pardon me, but are you pregnant?
She really loved manatees, and eventually she jumped from her boat into the water and landed on a manatee.
It was about killing unicorns (and no he was not being ironic). Captain Pretentious• Dude talked for several hours nonstop about his multi-discipline art project, which was based solely on an experience his father had 40 years ago.
When I met him at the bar he proceeded to tell me that 1) If we became a couple I would only be allowed to wear my Yankees hats/shirts when I was home visiting my family; never around him; 2)I should not expect him to talk to me while he was watching Redsox games on TV; and 3) we could not get married in October because he needed to keep the post-season available for any potential Redsox trips to the World Series.• My online date was eight-and-a-half months pregnant. ’ A gay friend of hers, it turns out, had inseminated her with a turkey baster, or so she said.
When I asked what she was doing on a blind date when she was going to give birth in two weeks she said: ‘The baby has me; I want someone.’• A poet offered to pick me up for dinner and a movie.
“On a first date with a guy I met in real life, we swapped Tinder stories. He told me that he had been matching with a girl who he knew was still in school and lived with her parents. No, guy I just met, I dont want to imagine you having sex with a 14yearold.
He asked her before picking her up how long she intended to live at home and her response was Well, Im 14, so …To make matters worse, he continued, saying, Can you imagine if I had had sex with her? Why is that even a thing that might have happened?!
Like, she would scoop dough out of a roll, pound it into a little ball, and then put it back in the basket! Did you ever see that movie ‘Conspirators of Pleasure,’ with the woman who fetishizes bread and snorts dough balls?